


The problem with falling in love

by Cats_Dont_Float



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Eventual Relationships, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Polyamory, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 09:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19002706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cats_Dont_Float/pseuds/Cats_Dont_Float
Summary: The problem with falling in love is that you always expect the other person to fall in love with you too. But they hardly ever do.John Egbert has a problem. He's fallen in love with both Dave and Karkat. Even worse, they're dating each other, and have no idea about John's feelings for them. With a little encouragement from Roxy, he decides to change that.





	1. Chapter 1

John stumbled in through the front door, his arms overloaded with bags of shopping. He had to use one foot to keep the door open as he walked in, dropping all the bags into a pile by the front door.  
"Dave?" He called out, trying to free his foot, which had somehow gotten stuck in the handle of one bag. "Dave?"  
"Dave's not here," a voice said. John looked up curiously, foot now free, and found Karkat leaning casually against the living room door frame, arms crossed, watching him with an amused smile.  
"Oh, Karkat," he mumbled, "I didn't know you were here."  
"I moved in like a month ago, remember?" Karkat said.  
"Oh, right, yeah," John mumbled, "So, where's Dave?"  
"He just went down to the shops for some food or something," Karkat said with a shrug.  
"Right," John mumbled. He scooped his bags back up, and headed for the stairs. "I'll see you later," he called over his shoulder.

John rushed upstairs, and collapsed onto his bed. He buried his face in the pillows, and let out a long groan. There had been a time when this had all been normal. Then, a few months after him and Dave had moved in together in a new house on Earth C, John had started to feel... strange. First, it had been Karkat. The troll was nothing like what John had first thought. Sure, he was loud and annoying, but once John got to know him, he realised that he was also absolutely adorable, and fun to spend time with. Somehow, John had fallen in love with him. But having a crush on his roommate's boyfriend wasn't the worst problem John had. He was also in love with his roommate. Dave had always been John's best friend, but since the end of the game, John had been getting even closer to him. It was just John's luck to fall in love with two people who happened to be dating each other.

After a while, John heard Dave come back home, and worked up the nerve to head back downstairs. As he walked into the kitchen, he saw Dave pull Karkat into a tight hug, and felt his heart skip a few beats. Dave nuzzled his face into the side of Karkat's neck, causing the troll to giggle slightly and stumble backwards against the kitchen table.  
"Hey guys," John said awkwardly, walking past them to get one of the cupboards. They turned to him as he poured himself a drink.  
"Hey, dude," Dave said with a grin, "How was shopping with Jade."  
"She made me buy so many clothes," John said with a small laugh, "Apparently my outfits aren't good enough."  
"Eh, she might be right," Dave said, stepping towards John and looking him up and down with a smirk, "You're pretty, you need some clothes that show that off." John instantly span around to hide the fact that he was blushing. Dave had always been much too flirty, and even though John knew he was just joking around, it still made him feel uncomfortable.

After a few moments of mostly silence, John turned back to find Dave whispering playfully in Karkat's ear. As they broke apart, they turned to look at him, as if surprised to still find him there.  
"Uh, you guys doing anything tonight?" John asked.  
"Yeah," Dave said, looping one arm around Karkat's waist, "We're just going to chill... you know, just hang out and watch movies."  
"Oh, great," John mumbled, "I might go out."  
"Where?" Dave asked.  
"Oh, umm... Roxy's," John blurted out the first name that came to his mind. Thinking about it, that wasn't actually a bad plan. Roxy sometimes had good advice.  
"Oh," Dave said with a smile, "Have fun."  
"Yeah," John said with a small sigh, "I will."

Later on, he did head out to Roxy's house. He hadn't called her to see if she was even at home, but he decided that if she wasn't, he'd just wander around aimlessly for hours. Luckily for him, she was home, and invited him in with her usual amount of enthusiasm.  
"So, why are you here?" She asked as the two of them stood in her kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil.  
"What do you mean?" John asked, "Can't I come around and see my friends from time to time?"  
"No," Roxy said, "Well I mean you can, but you obviously didn't. You quite clearly have something to say."  
"No, no, nothing," John mumbled. Roxy handed him a mug with a cat on it, and raised one eyebrow at him.  
"Tell me," she said, taking a sip of her own mug of tea. She hopped up onto the kitchen side, and patted the space next to her.  
Once John had awkwardly seated himself on the side next to her, he said, "Okay, So, I have a crush."  
"Oooh!" Roxy squealed, "I didn't know this was relationship advice you were looking for! You have come to the right person. So, who's the lucky person you've got a crush on?"  
"It's not just one person," John sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Roxy sit up a little straighter. " It's Dave... and Karkat," he murmured quietly.  
"Oh, sweetie," Roxy murmured, "How did this happen?"  
"No idea," John shrugged.  
Roxy let out a long breath, blowing her hair upwards out of her face. "You could just talk to them, you know?" She said, "Maybe you guys could.. work something out. I don't know, Trolls have weird romance anyway, right?"  
"I guess," John said, "I'm just scared they'll get mad at me."  
"Dave loves you, even if it's just as a friend," Roxy said, "He won't get mad at you."

For the next hour, Roxy tried to convince John to talk to them. He felt slightly more confident, but he wasn't quite sure.  
"Come on," Roxy sighed, "You told me about your crush on me. How can this be worse?"  
"Oh yeah, because that went so well," John sighed.  
"Well, we're still friends, aren't we?"  
John dropped his head into his hands. "I guess."  
"You know," Roxy said, "In another life, we'd have a made a great couple."  
"You think?" John asked.  
"Yeah," Roxy said, "You're so sweet, and kind and you care so much about your friends. If I didn't have such a great girlfriend, you'd have been the best boyfriend."  
"Thanks," John said, blushing slightly.  
"So, you gonna talk to Dave and Karkat?" Roxy asked  
"Maybe," John said with a shrug. She got up to hug him as he started to leave.  
"Tell me how it goes, okay?"  
"I will," he smiled.

When he returned home, Dave and Karkat were locked away in Dave's bedroom. Through his bedroom wall, he could hear them giggling and talking quietly. The sound made John feel sick with a mixture of jealousy and sadness. He put his headphones on and watched endless tv programmes for hours until he passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, John wandered downstairs tiredly, uncomfortable after falling asleep in a strange position. As he walked into the kitchen, stretching out one arm, he spotted Karkat standing in the kitchen. The troll was facing away from John, staring out of the window. The light coming in from outside shone around the edges of his silhouette, sunlight dancing on his grey skin and making him appear to be glowing. As John watched, Karkat lifted up one arm, and bent it over his shoulder to scratch at his back. He was wearing only his underwear and one of Dave's shirts, which was massive on him and the movement of his arm caused the t-shirt to rise up slightly. John was watching intently when something moved behind him.  
"What you doing, bro?" A voice asked, and Dave stepped past him into the kitchen.  
"Oh, nothing," John mumbled, "I just... forgot what I came downstairs for."  
"Breakfast?" Dave suggested.  
"Yeah, that's probably just it," John said. He followed Dave into the kitchen, and tried not to watch as Dave turned to kiss Karkat. He failed, and peered over his shoulder to look. Dave had one hands tangled in Karkat's thick black hair, and the other one was wrapped tightly around Karkat's waist. Karkat had practically melted into Dave's chest, having to stretch up on his tiptoes slightly due to being so much shorter than Dave. John let out a small sigh, wishing it could be him in that situation. He stared wistfully for a few more seconds, until they broke apart and he had to quickly turn away from them.  
"John, wanna come see Rose with us today?" Dave asked, strolling over as John poured cereal into a bowl. John sighed. Rose was exactly the person he didn't want to see right now. She could always tell exactly what he was thinking.  
"Uh, maybe," he said, "Might have stuff to do."  
"You're being weird at the moment," Dave said, "Everything okay?" He wandered up behind John, and put his head on one of John's shoulders, staring up at him with a grin. John shrugged him off, taking his cereal bowl over to the kitchen table.  
"I'm fine," he told Dave as the other boy continued to stare at him strangely, "Seriously, I'm fine."  
"Whatever," Dave said with a small shrug. "Karks," he called, "You wanna go get ready?"  
"Sure," Karkat said. The two turned, and headed for the kitchen door. John dropped his head down onto the table and let out a tiny groan.

Later, as John was washing up some bowls, the other two stumbled back into the room, laughing and pushing each other around. John stared at them for a few seconds. Dave's ridiculously pale skin and almost white hair stood out next to Karkat's grey skin and dark hair. They were both so different to each other, yet they fitted so perfectly together. John couldn't bring himself to destroy how happy they were.  
"Okay, we're gonna go get some stuff," Dave said, "We'll be back later before we go to Rose's. If you wanna come then you can."  
"I'll think about it," John said. Dave patted him on the head, and turned to reach out and grab Karkat's hand.  
"See ya," Dave called over his shoulder as they headed off.  
John was ready to let them go, until Roxy's advice echoed in his head. He took a deep breath, then called, "Wait!" Both of the others turned to him. "I... I need to talk to you," he said.

"Is this about why you're being weird?" Karkat asked, "Because Dave's right, you're being weird."  
"Uh, yeah," John murmured, staring down at the table instead of making eye contact with them.  
"Yo, what is it?" Dave asked. Him and Karkat slowly sat down opposite him, and Dave slowly removed his shades so he could look at John properly.  
"Okay," John sighed, preparing himself to tell them the truth. He dug one of his fingernails into the wood of the table, pretending to be far more interested in the mark it made than he was. "Okay," he said again, "Basically... I'm kinda in love with you... and I don't know what to do, and Roxy told me to talk to you, and I know you guys are dating and -"  
"John, you're babbling," Dave said, cutting him off. "Who do you love? Me or Karkat?" John looked up for the first time, expecting to see them looking angry, but instead they both had a weird look on their faces. Karkat looked... worried.  
"Both of you," John sighed.  
"Oh," Dave said, "Ohhh."  
"I'm sorry," John said, "It doesn't matter. I just wanted to tell you I guess. it's not gonna change anything."  
"Karkat," Dave said, "We need to go out, remember?" He stood up, his chair scraping horribly against the floor in the silent kitchen, and pulled Karkat to his feet too. "John," Dave said, "We'll uh, see you later, yeah?" Before John could say anything, the two of them turned and hurried away. John stared after them, waiting until he heard the door slam shut, and then let the tears flood down his face.

He ran upstairs, heart racing, and threw himself down onto his bed, door slamming behind him. he didn't know why he was so shocked. He hand't expected anything to change, hadn't expected them to act differently. But maybe, just maybe, he'd expected them to say something, anything at all. Instead, they'd just left, and ignored everything he'd said. He'd told them his feelings, and they hadn't cared. The problem with falling in love is that you always expect the other person to fall in love with you too. But they hardly ever do.  
He was acting like a child. He was vaguely aware of this as he cried into the pillows, but he didn't care. Just for once, he deserved to be able to act like a little kid. This hurt, and he wasn't going to pretend it didn't.  
He thought about messaging Roxy, but decided against it. She would just want to talk about it, and all he wanted to do was pretend it had never happened. And how could he tell sweet, optimistic Roxy that her plan had failed. She had tried her best, just like she always did. No, it wasn't her fault, it was entirely John's, for being so utterly unlovable.

He expected to stop crying after a while, and to be able to put things into perspective, for things to make sense again. But it didn't happen. He cried for what felt like hours, his breathing getting faster and faster until he thought his chest was about to explode. Somewhere, Dave and Karkat were out shopping or whatever, and later they'd go and tell Rose and Kanaya about what had happened. John knew he'd never be able to talk to Rose again if she knew. He'd definitely never be able to face Dave and Karkat again. Now he was back to being isolated from all of his friends again. Fantastic.  
His thoughts kept escalating, until he'd convinced himself he was going to be alone forever. Then he heard the front door open. 

Dave called out for him from downstairs, and John froze. Clasping one hand across his mouth so they wouldn't hear him crying, he raced across the room to lock his bedroom door, and then dropped back onto the bed. He buried his face in one pillow, pulled another one over his head, and tried to cry a little quieter.  
"John?" The voices, both Dave and Karkat, were closer now. Then they were outside his bedroom. He put a hand over his mouth again and lay completely still. Someone tried to open his door, and he heard Karkat swear loudly. He sounded angry. John accidentally let out a choked sob at the thought of them being mad at him. There was silence form outside, and then John heard the door swing open (he'd forgotten that Dave was an expert at lock-picking). He lay still, but they had obviously seen him.  
"John," Dave breathed out softly, and John heard the sound of light footsteps as people moved into his room. The bed moved slightly, dipping under the extra weight of two more people crawling onto it. Still, john lay in the same position, the last of his tears soaking into the pillows.

"John," Dave said again, "Can we talk?"  
"You didn't want to earlier," John muttered, thinking that his voice would be too quiet and muffled to be properly heard.  
"I just had to think," Dave said. "Wait, are you crying? Oh shit, did you think we hated you or something."  
John froze. Wait. They didn't hate him. "No," he said.  
"Idiot," Karkat said, but it was said fondly, not harshly.  
"Sit up," Dave said, "Please." Reluctantly, John sat up, rubbing his cheeks to try and get rid of any sign that he had been crying. He turned towards them, and found two pairs of bright red eyes staring in concern at him. All three of them stared for a few seconds, and then Dave held out his. John stared for a moment more, and then collapsed forward into Dave's arms. Another pair of arms looped around the both of them, and John found his nose buried in Karkat's hair.  
"I'm sorry," John said, "This is stupid. It's just a stupid crush."  
"You said you were in love with us," Dave said quietly, "That doesn't sound like just a crush to me." John huffed. Why had he had to say the word love?  
"So?" John mumbled, "You're dating." 

There was a movement, and both Dave and Karkat sat back, moving themselves away from John.  
"Well, Karkat and I were talking," Dave said quietly, "And troll dating is weird as fuck anyway, and there is such a thing as polyamory." John felt his heart skip a beat. Then he stopped himself from getting too hopeful. He should now better than wishing for good things by now. "And," Dave continued, "I actually had a super big crush on you a few years back. Turns out Karkat also did, but he didn't know what to do because he couldn't fit you into one of his quadrant things."  
"So, what are you saying?" John had the bravery to ask.  
"We're saying..." Dave trailed off, before adding, "We're saying we think we could make this work."  
"Yeah," Karkat agreed with a nod, "You mean a lot to us John. We were talking and, well, what you told us got us talking to each other. And that was the first time we'd really considered something like this but... we really like you."  
"Really?" John asked, still not daring to believe it.  
"Really," Dave said. He reached out, and gently cupped the side of John's face with one hand. "I'm sorry, we shouldn't have rushed out without saying anything. We didn't mean to upset you."  
"It's okay now," John said. And it really was. He could forgive them for upsetting him.  
"So," Dave said, "Will you date us?"  
John held his gaze for a minute, and realised all three of them had tears in their eyes now. "Yes," he said, "I will."

Both Dave and Karkat threw themselves forwards at him, pushing him back against the pillows. Dave reached out, grabbed the sides of John's face with both hands, and kissed him. John could feel Dave smiling against his lips. Then Karkat shoved Dave aside and took his place. Karkat was, unexpectedly, much gentler than Dave, and slowly ran his hands through John's hair and traced his fingers down the sides of John's face as they kissed. Eventually, Karkat moved away, and they allowed John to lay down properly. The amount of emotions he'd just felt in the space of a few hours was starting to exhaust him, and he happily curled up against the pillows. He smiled to himself as the two cuddled up on either side of him. Karkat buried his face in the side of John's neck, occasionally trailing small kissed down his neck and along his collarbones, while Dave had John's head tucked under his chin, and had wound his arms tightly around John's waist.  
"Thank you," John whispered to the two of them. Karkat hummed happily into John's neck, and then stretched his head up to kiss his cheek. Dave simply tightened his grip on John, as if he was afraid to ever let go again, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

It was going to be difficult, John knew that. Any relationship is. But it was worth it. Anything was worth it for those two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't check this for spelling mistakes, so I hope it's all right.


End file.
